I added this feature on my blog where you can view who checks your blog. It is really cool cause a lot of my blogs are not really comment worthy, but I just noticed there is always this ad for different things. Today I just happened to notice there is an ad for some book called "A New Mom's Return to Work Guide". That title alone should let you know if you want to continue reading. I debated whether to write this because it could hurt some peoples feelings but this is my blog, my feelings, and my opinion so if you are a working mother just don't read it.
What has this world come to when people who decide to raise there children and not pay someone else to do it are said to be depriving their children, and living unfulfilled lives. I find it rather interesting that this book should come out so close after the release of Dr. Laura's new book, "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms". Ahh poor working mom's got their feelings hurt. That mean old Dr. Laura. Please, give me a break. Your children are not litters of pups born to be sold off to the highest bidder or should I say the daycare that promises the best artificial love package.
Before I go any further I should point out that I do have friends that have to work do to putting their husbands through school and such. I am talking about those moms who simply want the nicer home or the minivan with all the bells and whistles. The ones who want to go on fancy cruises and vacations and so they pack there kids off to the local toddler warehouse and head of in to the business world because that makes them feel like a real woman. I tell you ladies what makes you feel like a real woman is having a husband come home and tell you what a great meal you made or how clean the living room looks. Having your babies look at you like you are the most beautiful wonderful person in the world. They want to dance with you in the living room and have you wipe away their tears and boo boos. What makes me feel like a woman is being in a good mood, energized from not dealing with men that have no right to be telling me what to do. So good that I have energy to schmooze my husband the way he wants and cause he's the one I chose to live this life side by side with. But the best thing of all is the freedom to do what I want all day. Go to the park, the zoo, the aquarium, play board games, sing, dance. You name it me and my boys can do it.
Of course we don't get to go on fancy vacations or eat at fancy restaurants. We have recovered the same old second hand couch we have had since we were married. We have to drive a 93 ford explorer that doesn't have a CD player even. We eat beans and rice a lot. But all those things most people would think are signs of poor people are simply signs of a family joined together by the heart. Who live to see each other everyday. Right here I would like to steal quote from Dr. Laura's book:
"High-Fashion shoes and Business suit: $325
Cut, highlights, and manicure: $160
Fifty hours of Day care a week: $400
Skipping it all to snuggle on the couch with your little ones: Priceless"
Now I am not saying that it is wrong for you to take vacations or buy nice clothes or have new cars. If your husband has a salary that can afford those things then it is your agency to spend it how you like, and a little reward every now and then is very beneficial to distressing after a long day of diapers and spills, but live with in your budget. Save together. You will not regret it if none of those glorious things ever come your way. You will however regret not being there for every little first in your child's life. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe some of you moms don't mind the daycare worker telling you that you missed it when little Johnny climbed all the way across the monkey bars by himself the first time and screamed at the top of his lungs "I am Iron Man". Not me though no way in hell is any one else going to explain how Santa gets down the chimney or count how many licks it really takes to get to the center of the lollipop. And as for the chapter in this wonderful glorify the working mom book that deals with feelings of guilt. Honey no book is going to be able to word away those feelings cause they're the real thing and God-given.
If you have a husband that is going to work every day and doing his best to put food on the table and support your family, show him that you really think he is a Man. He doesn't need a woman to help him accomplish his divine role. Be proud of the career he has chosen no matter what the salary. You chose him to take care of you. Let him, and in return take care of his babies and the home he has provided. Be proud of what you have built together, no matter the size or financial worth. Take my word for it, you will be the center of your families universe and how much more power do you need than that.
Be fore warned I will not publish any comments that are insulting to SAHMS in any way so don't waste your time.
4 comments:
I agree,but... I do think there are some moms who need to work for themselves, at this point culturally women are being told that they should work outside the home and given plenty of reasons why they should, girls are being brought up that way. so when they are adults and faced with deciding what kind of mom to be, there may be even more feelings of guilt associated with staying home than going to work(because the right choice and wrong choice are being taught upside down!). we are so lucky to have the gospel so that we can be shown how to wrap up our feelings differently to other mothers- To see our divine worth. I think that even though somewhere inside, every woman must know which choice is the correct one, we can also see how in other areas people are being lead to accept what is wrong as being right. So i guess what i am saying is I agree with you but i think im a little bit more judgemental of women in the church making these decisions(Because they definitely do know better) than those outside the church . BUT to write a book about what a great thing it is to be an at work mother....sounds like she is feeling really guilty about her choice
Your right Kerri-Anne. I forgot to mention that along with women who must work because there husband isn't doing his part or is going through school, there are also those who are mentally torn because of their upbringing. Dr Laura mentions these ladies and offers a lot of support groups that they can get involved with to help them understand their divine worth. I also know there are a lot of single mommies out there who would give anything to be home with there babies and I applaud them for enduring to the end.
I agree with you, Sara, and I've always felt that the choice to have children was the choice to raise those children. Why even have kids if you're going to just give them to someone else for the bulk of the day. I worked at daycamp, which was a total blast, but it was sad to see the kids who knew they were a lower priority than their parents' careers. Of course, there are good and bad parents in both camps, but I think we know which camp has more of the good parents, and which one has more of the bad.
Priorities, priorities. That is what choices help you find. We live in a world with so many tantalizing choices. Thank goodness the gospel can help us see through the haze and choose the BEST ones! Christ and Family (including food, shelter, and clothing for them) should always be number one. We must strive to not let us see our wants as our needs.
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